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Would it kill you to stop doing that? : a modern guide to manners / Henry Alford.

by Alford, Henry, 1962-

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9780446557658 (2013 1st trade pbk. ed.)

242 p. ; 22 cm.

Includes index.

Troubled by the absence of good manners in his day to day life, by the people who clip their toenails on the subway or give three letter replies to one's laboriously crafted missives, Alford embarks on a journey to find out how things might look if people were on their best behavior a tad more often. He travels to Japan (the "Fort Knox Reserve" of good manners) to observe its culture of collective politesse. He interviews etiquette experts both likely (Judith Martin, Tim Gunn) and unlikely (a former prisoner, an army sergeant). He plays a game called Touch the Waiter. And he volunteers himself as a tour guide to foreigners visiting New York City in order to do ground level reconnaissance on cultural manners divides. Along the way he also finds time to teach Miss Manners how to steal a cab; designates the World's Most Annoying Bride; and tosses his own hat into the ring, volunteering as an online etiquette coach. Ultimately, by tackling the etiquette questions specific to our age, such as Why shouldn't you ask a cab driver where's he's from?, Why is posting baby pictures on Facebook a fraught activity? and What is the problem with "No problem"? He finds a way into a subject that has sometimes been seen as pedantic or elitist.

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