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If it's not one thing, it's your mother / Julia Sweeney.

by Sweeney, Julia.

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Simon & Schuster, 2013.

362.734092 S974i

Sweeney, Julia.

Adopted children -- California -- Biography.

Motherhood -- California -- Biography.

Parenting -- California -- Biography.

9781451674040 (hc.)

145167404X (hc.)

9781451674057 (pbk.)

1451674058 (pbk.)

9781451674057 (pbk.)

1451674058 (pbk.)

1st Simon & Schuster hardcover ed.

viii, 246 p. ; 24 cm.

Prologue -- Week one: unto me a child is given -- If it's not one thing, it's your mother -- Just tinking -- Channeling food -- China sweeney -- Strong and beautiful -- Letters from camp -- Week two: independence -- Three Chinese nannies -- Arden -- Big strollers are bad -- Three boyfriends and reflections on a high school crush -- The birds and the bees -- A fan letter -- Sphexy -- Week three: death -- The decline and fall of practically everybody -- Starter gods -- Pussy -- Baby on board -- The color of skin -- Phone bill -- Week four: dependene -- My nemesis -- A proposal at Starbucks -- An education -- Hinky dink is sinking -- Tomorrow they arrive.

Shares the author's parenting misadventures, from her decision to adopt as a single woman and her transition to a stay-at-home mom after marriage to her efforts to explain the birds and the bees to her precocious eight-year-old. While Julia Sweeney is known as a talented comedienne and writer/performer of her one-woman shows, she is also a talented essayist--and the past few years have provided her with some rich material. Julia adopted a Chinese girl named Mulan and then, a few years later, married and moved from Los Angeles to Chicago. She writes about deciding to adopt her child, strollers, nannies, knitting, being adopted by a dog, The Food Network, and meeting Mr. Right through an email from a complete stranger. Some of the essays reveal Julia's ability to find that essential thread of human connection, whether it's with her mother-in-law or with an anonymous customer service rep during a late-night phone call. But no matter what the topic, Julia always writes with elegant precision, pinning her jokes with razor-sharp observations while articulating feelings that we all share.--From publisher description.

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