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You're the only one I can tell : inside the language of women's friendships / Deborah Tannen.

by Tannen, Deborah.

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Ballantine Books, an imprint of Random House, 2017.

302.34082 T166y

Female friendship.

Interpersonal communication.

Conversation analysis.

9781101885802 (hc.)

Alternate title:

You are the only one I can tell : inside the language of women's friendships

xviii, 276 pages ; 25 cm.

Includes bibliographical references (pages 257-263) and index.

Women friends talking -- That's not what I meant!: the invisible influence of conversational style -- "We're a lot alike," "We're very different": the importance of being--or not being--the same -- The same--or better?: connection and competition -- FOBLO, FOGKO, and the safe embrace of women in groups -- Too close for comfort: cutoffs, poaching, drama! -- "Like" it or not: women, friendship, and social media -- My friend, my sister, my self: what it means to be close -- Epilogue.

This warm, wise exploration of female friendship from the author of You Just Don't Understand will help women lean into these powerful relationships. Best friend, old friend, good friend, bff, college roommate, neighbor, workplace confidante: Women's friendships are a lifeline in times of trouble and a support system for daily life. A friend can be like a sister, daughter, mother, mentor, therapist, or confessor - or she can be all of these at once. She's seen you at your worst and celebrates you at your best. Figuring out what it means to be friends is, in the end, no less than figuring out how we connect to other people. Deborah Tannen deconstructs the ways women friends talk and how those ways can bring friends closer or pull them apart. From casual chatting to intimate confiding, from talking about problems to telling what you had for dinner, Tannen uncovers the patterns of communication and miscommunication that affect friendships at different points in our lives. She shows how even the best of friends - with the best intentions - can say the wrong thing, and how words can repair the damage done by words. Through Tannen's signature insight, humor, and ability to present pitch-perfect real-life dialogue, readers will see themselves and their friendships on every page.

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