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The available parent : expert advice for raising successful and resilient teens and tweens / by Dr. John Duffy ; foreword by Dr. Thomas Phelan.

by Duffy, John, 1964 August 19-

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Viva Editions, [2014]

Parent and teenager.

Adolescent psychology.

9781936740826 (pbk.)

1936740826 (pbk.)

xlvi, 161 pages ; 21 cm.

Originally published in 2011.

The Nature of Availability -- Radical Optimism -- The Good-Enough Teenager -- What Do I Know? -- Availability: Your Mandate as a Parent -- Part 1: Your Teenager's Wild World -- Too Much Data, Too Little Filter -- This Isn't Kansas Anymore -- The Adolescent Mind -- Social In-security -- Breaking Away -- The Nature of Teen Rebellion -- Sex -- Intimacy: More Than Hooking Up -- Body Image: The Locker Room Terror -- What About the Gay Issue? -- Part 2: What Never Works -- Why Lectures Never Work -- Why Vicarious Living Never Works -- Why Micromanaging Never Works -- Why Snooping Never Works -- Why Underestimating Never Works -- Why Blinders Never Work -- Why Judging Never Works -- Why Smothering Never Works -- Why Coddling Never Works -- Why Overindulgence Never Works -- Why Bribery Never Works -- Why "Good Cop, Bad Cop" Never Works -- Why Waiting Never Works -- Part 3: What Always Works -- Check Your Ego -- Don't Make It About You -- Emotional Role Modeling -- Tapping Your Intuition -- Gaining Traction -- Deposits in the Emotional Bank Account -- Simple Acknowledgment -- The Multiple Benefits of Laughter -- The Ozzy Connection -- Communication and Connection -- The Power of Music -- Other Ways to Connect -- The Friendship Debate -- Shifting the Energy -- Re-connecting -- Protect Time -- Step Away from the iPhone! -- u cn txt ur kid, k? -- Calm, Clear Consequences -- Disciplinary Action -- Punishment, Rewards, and Consequences -- The Behavioral Contract -- When to Say No: Following Your Intuition -- See the Light -- Fondness and Admiration -- Finding Those Corners Where Strengths Dwell -- Supporting Your Teen's Interests -- Building Self-Esteem or Self-Mastery -- What about the Weird Kid? -- Be the Change -- Inspiration by Example -- When Not to Be Available: Parent as Consultant -- Why Available Parenting Always Works -- Final Note: My Hope for You.

"We have a tendency today to over-parent, micro-manage, and under-appreciate our adolescents. Dr. John Duffy's The Available Parent is a revolutionary approach to taking care of teens and tweens. Teenagers are often left feeling unheard and misunderstood, and parents are left feeling bewildered by the changes in their child at adolescence and their sudden lack of effectiveness as parents. The parent has become unavailable, the teen responds in kind, and a negative, often destructive cycle of communication begins. The available parent of a teenager is open to discussion, offering advice and solutions, but not insisting on them. He allows his child to make some mistakes, setting limits, primarily where health and safety are concerned. He never lectures -- he is available but not controlling. He is neither cruel nor dismissive, ever. The available parent is fun and funny, and can bring levity to the most stressful situation. All of that is to say, there are no conditions to his availability -- it is absolute"--

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